O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny
From depths of Hell Thy people save
And give them victory o’er the grave
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Key of David, come
And open wide our heavenly home
Make safe the way that leads on high
And close the path to misery.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, O come, Thou Lord of might
Who to Thy tribes, on Sinai’s height
In ancient times did’st give the Law
In cloud, and majesty and awe.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

And I thought the transition out of high school would be hard.

I knew post-college life would present its challenges.  All of a sudden, I had to face bills, groceries, full-time work, and a host of other obstacles I’ve never had to face. Even through college, Mom and Dad would help me cover things. But no longer. It’s a steady rotation of cooking, laundry, work, exercise, friends, paying bills, running errands, and making sure the house doesn’t fall apart.

I have to admit, it’s a difficult transition. I got to live in relative relational gluttony among wonderful friends and mentors. I got to hear God’s Word preached almost every day, and I was constantly encouraged and nurtured. Even though I was far from home, the college provided a wonderful place to be.  But it’s a different place now that I live. Not bad by any means. But different. Instead of coming back for a nap at 2pm, I have to stay at work all eight hours. And I don’t get 6 work misses to use at my leisure.

Throughout all of it, Jesus takes on a new sweetness. I feel a new sense of urgency to embrace the cross. Amidst the life of chapels, Bible classes, small groups and one-on-ones, Jesus is sometimes added to the long spiritual t0-do list. But when I have to go to work every day, when I’m tired because it seems there’s no end in sight, when there’s so much to do besides crash, he sustains. I feel like the kid in the pool with his water wings who is just learning to swim. Jesus is right there, holding my frail body up in a giant sea.

I’ve been told the transition gets easier as time goes on. That I’ll find my rhythm. And I certainly believe that’s true. But in the mean time, while I live in what seems like an adult purgatory, I’m learning to trust the Lord and his faithfulness. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. He’s the same God that brought me to college and gave me four amazing and stretching years. And he’s the God who leads me onto the rest of my life.

I’ve started reading through the Bible in a year. I’ve realized that I really need a bigger picture of God’s Word, and I need to see how it interelates to itself. I read something this morning that really struck me. But first, some background.

The other day in Bible study, we were talking about God’s judgment on Israel for not trusting him to bring them into the promise land. Since only Caleb and Joshua believed, only they would get to go. The rest of the nation would be punished by wandering in the desert for 40 years until everyone 20 years and older was dead. God minced no words with his people:

“But as for you, your dead bodies shall fall in this wilderness.  And your children shall be shepherds in the wilderness forty years and shall suffer for your faithlessness, until the last of your dead bodies lies in the wilderness.  According to the number of days in which you spied out the land, forty days, a year for each day, you shall bear your iniquity forty years, and you shall know my displeasure” (Numbers 14:32-32).

A long time later, Israel returns to Jerusalem to rebuild the wall.  They are humbled and humiliated, having been taken off to exile and nearly destroyed as a people. And they come before the Lord, confessing their sin. It is one of the most moving confessions I have ever read:

“But they and our fathers acted presumptuously and stiffened their neck and did not obey your commandments.  They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them, but they stiffened their neck and appointed a leader to return to slavery in Egypt. But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them. Even when they had made for themselves a golden calf and said, ‘This is your God who brought you up out of Egypt,’ and had committed great blasphemies, you in your great mercies did not forsake them in the wilderness.  The pillar of cloud to lead them in the way did not depart from them by day, nor the pillar of fire by night to light for them where they should go.  You gave your good Spirit to instruct them and did not withhold your manna from their mouth and gave them water for their thirst.  Forty years you sustained them in the wilderness, and they lacked nothing.  Their clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell.”

Israel failed completely. God provided a way out, a promised land, and the means to acquire it, but they would not listen. Yet even then, God was gracious and merciful to them. He was merciful and gracious and ready to forgive despited the heinous sins of his people.  And even though they wandered for forty years and punishment, God never stopped providing for their needs.

Look at them together: “And your children shall be shepherds in the wilderness forty years and shall suffer for your faithlessness, until the last of your dead bodies lies in the wilderness. Forty years you sustained them in the wilderness, and they lacked nothing.  Their clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell.”

Is God really that patient? I am really humbled that God would still forgive even after all that. And even in the midst of consequence, he doesn’t forget about or stop providing for his people. I am so thankful that God’s provision for me and forgiveness of me is not dependent on my performance. Praise God for his patience and grace.

I know, it’s been a while. Awhile. But I’m back. And I say that often, and am not really back. I’m not making any promises, but I’m starting to think the practice of blogging could be really beneficial. For me at least, if not anyone else.

I’ve been pondering lately why people blog. And the conclusion I’ve come to, at least for myself, is that blogging should be real. That is to say, I want my blog to reflect where I am, who I am, and what I’m thinking. Meaning that sometimes it can be spiritual, sometimes it can be ridiculous; but I hope that it’s at all times beneficial.

It’s been quite a whirlwind of activity since I posted last. I took a little trip to Eastern Africa. Due to the sensitive nature of that trip, I’m not going to share the details here, but if you know me personally and would like to hear more, feel free to ask me. I’d love to share what I did.

I also had a fantastic time in the UK this summer! I got to spend time with friends, hang out with my family, and see beautiful Scotland. If you’ve never been to Scotland, go. It is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. The people are nice, the scenery is breathtaking, the history is fascinating, and the haggis is…not as bad as I thought it would be, although a little mushy.

Post-college has been, well, interesting. The Lord has blessed me with a great (and large) living situation and a wonderful church. I am working for an after-school enrichment company, which means I teach little kids things like Secret Agent and Edible Geography. No, you can’t join my class. Sorry.

In other news, I am studying to get my real estate broker’s license. So come March/April, if you’re in the market for a home, give me a call or shoot me an email! I hope get things rolling by then. In the meantime, studying is tedious and sometimes slow work (given California’s ridiculous RE laws). But I trudge along.

This is the goal: pursue real estate, at least right now. A few years down the road, I still want to go to seminary/grad school. I am a teacher at heart, and I would love to teach bible to college students- but we’ll see.

This guy needs to start his own band.

I read a story last night that brought me to my knees. A children’s story. The book is called Do You Want a Friend? by Noel Piper, available for free as a PDF from Desiring God. The line that hit me most was this:

“Maybe you have lots of friends. But can any of them do ALL these things ALL the time? No. Jesus is the only friend who is everything we need. There is no friend like Jesus.”

I was simultaneously smiling and crying to myself as a read this last night. I realized how powerfully simple and true those words are.  It was a rock of comfort in the sea of the complete unknown.

I graduated from college about two weeks ago. With that comes a whole new world: the post-college world.  I’m glad to have accomplished college, by God’s grace.  But as I sat last night in my aunt’s guest room, I felt a bitter panic creeping up on me. My housing situation for next year is unsure.  My job prospects have fallen through. The comfort of having my friends all right down the hall from me is no more.

With living in the unknown comes the peaceful assurance of a friend. A friend who knows my need, knows the anxiety that is very tempting to embrace, and knows my situation. A friend who walks with me through a new chapter of life, and one that I believe will be okay by His grace.  A friend who provides for me, perhaps not in the way I would have wanted, but in the way that makes himself most gloriously known to me.

And so I’m thankful. My unsure footing is being shored up by the rocky foundation of God’s grace and love for me. It certainly has not turned out the way I had it planned in my own small thinking.  I’m not sure quite how it will turn out.  But I know I walk with a friend who is faithful to lead me, who loves me, and will provide for me in ways I can’t see right now.

I head off to Africa next week, and I don’t know what lies on the other side. But the task right now is to go to the other side of the world to make my friend Jesus known to a people who see him simply as a good teacher. And so I go, miserably weak, yet gloriously empowered by my friend Jesus to do what he has for me next: to make him known.

I’ve been pondering lately some of the pitfalls of ministry.  As someone who has a strong desire to pursue ministry, I have to stop and look at the risks involved and the seriousness of the task.  The calling of ministry is high, and so is the accountability. Of course, the privilige of ministry in the long run is incalculable.  But it must be treated with care.

One of the pitfalls I have noticed is the danger of “ministry addiction.” And perhaps I speak from experience more than anything else in pointing this out.  But I believe there is a serious danger in taking ministry and making it everything.  Let me explain what I mean.

God has given us wonderful opportunities.  Opportunites to share the Gospel, or opportunities to speak into peoples lives.  Sometimes, there is not much result or response.  But sometimes God does an amazing work, Or he provides continued oppportunity.  And praise God for it!  But there is a danger that we may ride from ministry high to ministry high.  That is to say, we may enjoy “the opportunity” too much even to see what we are presenting.  Evangelism becomes an adventure of persuasion.  “What can I say that will persuade this person?” Or “What can I say to make them see the Gospel clearer?”  And certainly these are not bad things.  They are wonderful things. But they are not ends in and of themselves.

It is almost as if we miss the forest for all the trees.  We get each tree right, and in the right place, but we fail to see the glory of the forest.  Ministry is about one thing; the glory of God.  Every word, every encounter, and every conversation is bent towards that end.  That means regardless of the response, God is doing something for his own glory.  and he works in ways we cannot ever understand.  But if we go in with the mindset that we are going to change a person, and we enjoy the experience because of our own persuasion, then we miss the ultimate and most important point.

Certainly the Gospel will go forth regardless of the motive.  Paul said, “It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice” (Philippians 1:18).  The Gospel is still the Gospel even when it is preached by less than perfect people.  but what should our motives be?

O, that we may preach the Gospel because we love the Gospel!  Not the response, not the encounter, nor the fact that we are part of something great. They are certainly a great part of it.  But the are not an end.  I have found my own heart badly misguided in this regard many times.  When I have a great conversation, or am able to open someone’s eyes in a different way to something they have never seen before, I get excited.  And it is truly amazing to see someone see or understand or savor the Gospel in a new way.  But I can get lost in the experience.  I can get so caught up in seeing someone understand or even see something that I get excited.  But then cold responses can do just the opposite.  When someone doesn’t respond in the same way, I can become discouraged.

Part of the reason the Gospel is so important is because it is stabilizing.  It frees us from the ups and downs of ministry.  Victories become so great because the Gospel has been made known better and fuller and clearer.  It is an opportunity for Christ to be made known.  And it is an opportunity for us to see Christ better as well.  But when things go poorly, it is just as much an opportunity for Christ to be made known.

May countless people the world over come to know Christ, and may they know because there is someone to explain it to them. And may the hearts of those people who share be filled with nothing less than a desire to see Christ known.

A friend inspired me to create a list of things I learned in 2008. Indeed, I am still learning many, if not all of them. But I am so thankful for a year of heavy sanctification. Some things I learned were huge, and others were small. I pray 2009 will be another year of more learning and Christ-likeness.

Here’s what I learned (the list is certainly not exhaustive):

It is possible to feed a relationship with Gospel-truth yet completely selfish motives.

Gospel-truth is not negated by selfish motives.

Some of the best conversations come out of car rides.

Forgiveness sees past sin in light of future grace.

It is important to listen to Scripture rather than read into it.

I love reading biographies.  Some of the best lessons come through other people’s lives.

Scripture reading should be a consistent habit because we must be reminded often.

The Lord answers prayer.

Prayer for other people is one of the best ways we can love them.

The love of Christ is the reason I love other people.

The love of others comes from the overflow of a love for God. And you cannot have one without the other.

“Love is an act of the will accompanied by emotion that acts on behalf of it’s object.” -Voddie Baucham

Humility is selfless.

Habitual sin requires a big view of God. Sin doesn’t seem very offensive to a little God.

There is a difference between a vague feeling of dread and a specific feeling of guilt. One is justified; the other isn’t.

A hope in the inheritance in Christ is sure. Hope in the present world will ultimately disappoint.

The best kind of friends are the ones who are brutally honest. Some of the biggest times of growth have been in the midst of the strongest words of friends.

I love cooking for people.

The faithfulness of the encouragement of others has been an inspiration for me to be an encouragement to others.

The analysis of myself is often a deceitful form of pride.

I have a desire to be married.

I am slow. Reading the same book of the Bible over and over and memorizing can be two of the most helpful tools to allow Scripture to sink in.

I am resistant to change. Much of it is comfort-driven.

I can’t always tell how or when the Lord is working in other people’s hearts.

Therefore, my faithfulness should not be fueled by the change (or lack thereof) that I see.

Heaven is heaven because of God. I should long for heaven because I long for God (thanks, John Piper).

The Lord times encouragement well.

Walking with a good friend is one of my favorite things in the world.

Trials bring the greatest dependence.

My parents are one of the greatest examples of a healthy marriage I’ve ever seen.

Good gifts point to a better Giver.

Simple can be so refreshing.

The body of Christ caring for its own is one of the most powerful testimonies of the Gospel.

Working with and for unbelievers is a great privilege.

God cares for the poor.

I am not my own.

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:14-21

I got tagged to write this post by Beth and Ben, so I’ll give it a whirl. Never mind the fact that, for some reason, I find it really hard to remember what I did the day before, but can tell you what I did two weeks ago.

20 years ago I…

1. Lived in Long Beach, CA.

2. Was an only child.

3. Bit other children.

10 Years ago I…

1. Came to know Jesus Christ as my savior

2. Was about to enter sixth grade with Mr. Fugitt

3. Kicked it with Mrs. Mewes in the fifth

Five years ago I…

1. Entered my junior year of high school…

2. With a class of five people.

3. Moved irrigation pipes.

Three years ago I…

1. Graduated as valedictorian of my class of 17 (That’s for you Ben)

2. Geared up for my first year of college

3. Worked at a shoe store

1 Year ago I…

1. Finished my sophomore year of college

2. Worked as a telemarketer

3. Was fired as a telemarketer (again for you Ben)

So far this year I…

1. Made the switch to the best dorm in the world.

2. Took one of my favorite classes in the world (Greek).

3. Made some visits to the best family in the world (cheezeball, I know)

Yesterday I…

1. Taught a slime class twice.

2. Went to the Orange County fair with Steve, Hugh, Betsey and Laura.

3. Had funnel cake for the first time.

Today I…

1. Taught a slime class six times.

2. Survived the TV stand fiasco with Beth and Ona.

3. Laughed it up with Sam, Ona, Rick, and Esther.

Tomorrow I will…

1. Reformat my computer

2. Shop for VBS games

3. Hang out with IBEX people

In the next year I will…

1. Live in the best dorm in the world.

2. Graduate from college.

3. Go to Scotland.

Welcome to this addition of Phusion Phil Phriday! In the spirit of Phun Phridays (please see 411 Fath’s Fun Fact Friday) I have started Phusion Phil Phridays. My name is Phusion Phil because I teach science and had to come up with a cool name. Yes, its cool. Yes, I know I spelled Phusion wrong.

So each Phun Philled Phriday will include an antecdote from the Phusion Phil experience. And if I run out of Phusion Phil experiences, I’ll share…something else.

Today’s story is brought to you by a little girl at Kindercare. I was teaching about the human body, and I passed out stethescopes for the kids to listen to their heartbeats. Which, if you are a little kid, can be hard to do. This girl was having a lot of trouble finding her heart, and she turned to her neighbor and said: “How many times do I have to tell you, I don’t have a heart!”

Hmmmm. You might want to get that looked at.